Again with the crying....

The other day I wrote a post about my ex, how I had a dream about him la la la la la. That was a bad day for me but I got over it, went out with Kira had fun..I was fine. Even today started okay, I slept late, missed my morning workout but still I was in a relatively good mood. I made plans to hangout with my future sperm donor (not to be confused with boyfriend, guy I'm seeing or husband, who btw are the same person) everything was looking good for the weekend.
A couple minutes ago I got a call from an outside number…y'all know that the idiot (from venting) calls from an outside number, I picked up but didn't say anything just listening to see if it was the idiot so I could hang up. I hear the voice that I love say hello…my ex…I almost fell over trying to take the phone off of mute. I finally got it together an we talk for about 5 minutes. He told me that his daughter just turned 1 and he had a party for her…he wanted my permission to send me pictures. He also told me that one of our couple friends just found out that they are pregnant. I agreed to getting the pictures and we said our goodbyes. The news about our friends depressed me a little because I feel like everyone is having a baby…none of these people wanted one. I feel like it is never going to happen to me…I am going to end up being a bitter, lonely old lady. When I got the pictures I felt a little worse….the baby is very cute..she actually looks like his family a little. Of course because I am a cry baby, after looking at the pictures I had to excuse myself so that people didn't see me crying and think that I was crazy.
Ughh….what is wrong with me…I am happy for him and for my friends but I can't help being sad…..tonight is not going to be good. I will probably be in a foul mood and end up arguing with the sperm donor….I think that I might just stay home tonight.
I'm going to the gym…..maybe I'll feel better afterwards.