Yesterday-Bad --- Today-Good

One of my best friends' was at my house(still at my momma's..still scared of my house) with my god daughter, when I got home. We talked for a while and I played with my god daughter…she is so cute…I started to feel so much better. Kira and I decided to go to this "lesbian" bar called Chueca. It was far as hell….when we finally got to the place I was like we are not coming back here again. We went in and the place was dead…there was one couple acting like hotels were never invented, a couple playing pool, the bartender, her girlfriend and another girl…I was like what the hell is this shit…we are definitely not coming back. Since we drove all that way we decided to have a drink and chill out for a while before the drive back. As we were sitting, drinking and talking the bartender came over and was trying to make small talk..she asked us our name, where we came from and stuff like that. At first I was thinking why the hell doesn't this chick leave us alone (yes add anti-social to my list)…but then Kira (being the nice person that she is) started talking to her and thus the "which way do you swing" conversation started. I said that I had my hand in both pots and Kira tried to say the same thing and I was like hell no..she has her hand in one pot…the honey pot. The bartender (Paula) liked that, so she started introducing us to all the girls in the bar (her girl was the cutest…I was like ummmmm), her mission is to find Kira a girl for a serious relationship. So anyway we started playing pool…my first time (Yea for me), it was fun..we played two rounds finished our drinks and left at about 1…I was exhausted. I drove Kira home and we were both hungry so we went to McDonalds…ok McDonald's and me never agree…we fight all the time. I eat it and always have a serious case of the runs afterwards (I'll tell you a funny very gross story later), I dropped her home and went home…of course I couldn't find any parking, I had to wait around forever and I was starting to feel sick. I got inside took my clothes off, called my future sperm donor and went to take a shower. I could feel the McDonald's churning in my stomach..at this rate I would never get to sleep…I threw up and felt so much better. I had a great night sleep and even woke up early (which was surprising being that I went to sleep at 2:30). This morning I had a good workout and am having dinner with the girls tonight.
I'd say it's going to be a good day… =)
PS - no matter what Kira says it was not my idea to go to the lesbian bar. She was the one that found it….I wanted to go to a lesbian strip club….
I promised a gross story…..this is not for the squeamish (Adm, Dno…that means you). Okay so remember I said McDonald's does not agree with me…every time I eat it I either have the runs or will need to throw up….but every once in a while I have it anyway…either because it's 2 AM and nothing else is open or everyone else is eating it or something (I'm greedy how about that). About a month ago me and my boyfriend were coming home late…we stopped at McDonald's to get something to eat, went home..took a shower, had sex and were about to get ready for bed. He was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and I was in the bedroom wrapping my hair. Now I knew the McDonald's was going to start violently churning but I thought I would be able to hold it down till the morning time…nope. I started feeling the cramps and was like shit…here we go. I yell out hurry up in the bathroom, I am going to need to go in 5 mins. I was trying to finish wrapping my hair before I went to the bathroom…but I started feeling like hmmm this stuff is not cooperating it is coming now…so I am holding in my butt, shielding with my hand trying to rush to the bathroom……I got to the door, was about to sit on the bowl and then I sharted….lol….it was the most disgusting, embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Usually I would keep something like that to myself but I had to tell my entire family…they know me and the way I operate…taking that into consideration it was hilarious…I, me, Jaye sharted….nah…lol